Thursday, December 2, 2010

Do you feel he is manipulating you?

I get parenting advice in abundance. What new mom doesn't, right? Some I cherish and some is just not for us. I think people often do not realize that each family is unique. They feel that if it worked for them it s the only way to go.

The one that gets me every time is "Do you think being this attached is making your baby spoiled?"  and  "Do you think your baby is manipulating you?"

The answer is simple...No.

I figure at his age if he is crying it is valid. Then again I feel that him needing cuddles and attention is valid as well. He is only 6 months old and can't lives a life void of much independence after all .

The world is to big for him and if I was in his shoes I know I would need to know someone was close to provide, teach, and love!

As for when he is older, I say he will not be a baby forever so I will cherish this age and then deal with the next when it comes. No need to be overly firm and attempt independence before needed.

Around 2 it is developmental for them to attempt a version of independence. AKA the "terrible 2's" ...kinda like the rebellious streak many teens go through! Oh boy, I know I can't wait....... scary thoughts right there. No matter how we parent now kids are supposed to do this.

I would rather use this time now to create a bond and lay the foundation for the future. This way as he grows we slowly build up the blocks and set boundaries as needed. In my opinion, a strong foundation is the start and the bond, love, and attachment needs to be the ground floor  so when your child does get to the stages where they are capable of manipulation and other things the foundation we set now will help us teach him right from wrong. Hopefully in a positive way.

I feel that being attached does not necessarily mean spoiled or that we do everything our child wants.  It means we always try to understand our child's needs and meet them. Sometimes we may not understand why our little one is scared, hungry even after eating, or upset . But, we still to treat their feelings with respect and meet the needs they have.  It is hard for them to tell us "I'm teething" or "Being alone is scary" without knowing how to speak words. My goal and job is to meet his needs the best way I can, even if I may not understand them, we are raising little people after all.


  1. I just started reading your blog after seeing some of your posts on the bump. This is a wonderful post. It is exactly how I feel, but put so much more eloquently than I ever could! :)

  2. Thank You. I just wish I could sum it up into a nice snippet to retort back when people tell me Blip is a spoiled brat at 6 months old. LOL

  3. Haha! No kidding! I've just been smiling and nodding now because I can't think of any way to explain it so that others will understand. Somehow I don't think that "No, we are not spoiling her, she is 2.5 months old. Bite me." would be appropriate. =D

    I was also told that she was training me and I should let her CIO. Yeah, not going to happen but I am glad you think that highly of my 2.5 month old's intelligence to think she could consciously train me! Haha! :)



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