Thursday, February 10, 2011

Sharing a link: 'Why "Spoiled" Babies Grow Up to Be Smarter, Kinder Kids'

I really like the emotions I get when I wear Blip in his wrap, nap with him, or play with him on the floor. I think it is not only good for him, but me. We both get those feel good flutters that come with being loved and feeling safe.

 Responding to Blips crying feels right to me, and for our family it is how we do things naturally. After-all, a baby has needs, and no words to express them, so I never saw crying as negative, but more as communication. His feelings are just as important as mine.

I have a hope that one day he will grow to be a child who cares about others feelings and needs. How can he do this if no one cares about his? We model what we want taught and this is no exception in our home. If you want love, respect, compassion, and general caring from a child you must model such things to the child and others!

If he reaches for me I respond by playing with him, talking to him, or picking him up before he gets upset. Or maybe even wearing him just because we both love to be near.

Not to say that I always am right beside him, I'm human and I need some alone time just like any mama! There are times I may have to let him cry for a second while I finish up in the bathroom, and he does sometimes nap alone if he is happy, so I can get some much needed me time. But these things are because this is what I need and has nothing to do with a fear of "spoiling" him. Balance is key, and if he is happy playing alone I certainly let him, but we also get in lots of cuddling and I respond to his needs even at night. If he needs extra time with me one day then I will nap with him or wear him while we take a walk. Time goes by to fast to not snuggle close in fear of squashing independence.

This is sometimes called "spoiling". A word I just have grown to hate. How is meeting my child's needs "spoiling" him? If he NEEDS some attention, because he is lonely or scared, isn't that still a need? Just like I need alone time he needs to know I'm close. Everyone in the family should have their needs met.

I'm of the belief that you can't spoil a young baby, and even in the matter of older babies love and cuddles can still lead to future self worth and independence. So I share a link with you that gives you permission to "Spoil" your babies. 

While I hated the title I did enjoy the article on how affection can make a baby grow up adjusted and full of self worth and kindness.

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